more animals
Monday, February 09, 2009
Sunday, February 08, 2009
Kids Science exam answers
Funny/dumb email forward from my Aunt.
Kids Science exam answers
If you need a good laugh, try reading through these children's science exam answers
Q: Name the four seasons.
A: Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.
Q: Explain one of the processes by which water can be made
safe to drink.
A: Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes
large pollutants
like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists.
Q: How is dew formed?
A: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them
perspire.
Q: How can you delay milk turning sour?
A: Keep it in the cow.
Q: What causes the tides in the oceans?
A: The tides are a fight between the Earth and the Moon.
All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the
moon, and nature hates a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight.
Q: What are steroids?
A: Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs.
Q: What happens to your body as you age?
A: When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental.
Q: What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?
A: He says good-bye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery
Q: Name a major disease associated with cigarettes.
A: Premature death.
Q: How are the main parts of the body categorized? ( e.g., abdomen)
A: The body is consisted into three parts -- the brainium, the borax and the
abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain; the borax contains the
heart and lungs, and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels A, E, I, O,
and U.
Q: What is the fibula?
A: A small lie.
Q: What does 'varicose' mean? (I do love this
one...)
A: Nearby.
Q: Give the meaning of the term 'Caesarian Section.'
A: The Caesarian Section is a district in Rome
Q: What does the word 'benign' mean?'
A: Benign is what you will be after you be eight.
____________________________________
Kids Are Quick
TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North America
MARIA: Here it is.
TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America ?
CLASS: Maria.
____________________________________
TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables.
__________ ________________________________
TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell 'crocodile?'
GLEN: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L'
TEACHER: No, that's wrong
GLEN: ! Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.
____________________________________________
TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
DONALD: H I J K L M N O.
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
DONALD: Yesterday you said it's H to O.
__________________________________
TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have
ten years ago.
WINNIE: Me!
__________________________________________
TEACHER: Glen, why do you always get so dirty?
GLEN: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.
_______________________________________
TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence starting with 'I.'
MILLIE: I is..
TEACHER: No, Millie..... Always say, 'I am.'
MILLIE: All right... 'I am the ninth letter of
the alphabet.
_________________________________
TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his
father's cherry tree,
but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you know why his
father didn't punish him?
LOUIS: Because George still had the axe in his hand.
______________________________________
TEACHER: Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers
before eating?
SIMON: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.
TEACHER: Clyde , your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your
brother's. Did you copy his?
CLYDE : No, sir. It's the same dog.
___________________________________
TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people
are no longer interested?
HAROLD: A teacher.
Kids Science exam answers
If you need a good laugh, try reading through these children's science exam answers
Q: Name the four seasons.
A: Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.
Q: Explain one of the processes by which water can be made
safe to drink.
A: Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes
large pollutants
like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists.
Q: How is dew formed?
A: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them
perspire.
Q: How can you delay milk turning sour?
A: Keep it in the cow.
Q: What causes the tides in the oceans?
A: The tides are a fight between the Earth and the Moon.
All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the
moon, and nature hates a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight.
Q: What are steroids?
A: Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs.
Q: What happens to your body as you age?
A: When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental.
Q: What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?
A: He says good-bye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery
Q: Name a major disease associated with cigarettes.
A: Premature death.
Q: How are the main parts of the body categorized? ( e.g., abdomen)
A: The body is consisted into three parts -- the brainium, the borax and the
abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain; the borax contains the
heart and lungs, and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels A, E, I, O,
and U.
Q: What is the fibula?
A: A small lie.
Q: What does 'varicose' mean? (I do love this
one...)
A: Nearby.
Q: Give the meaning of the term 'Caesarian Section.'
A: The Caesarian Section is a district in Rome
Q: What does the word 'benign' mean?'
A: Benign is what you will be after you be eight.
____________________________________
Kids Are Quick
TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North America
MARIA: Here it is.
TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America ?
CLASS: Maria.
____________________________________
TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables.
__________ ________________________________
TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell 'crocodile?'
GLEN: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L'
TEACHER: No, that's wrong
GLEN: ! Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.
____________________________________________
TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
DONALD: H I J K L M N O.
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
DONALD: Yesterday you said it's H to O.
__________________________________
TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have
ten years ago.
WINNIE: Me!
__________________________________________
TEACHER: Glen, why do you always get so dirty?
GLEN: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.
_______________________________________
TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence starting with 'I.'
MILLIE: I is..
TEACHER: No, Millie..... Always say, 'I am.'
MILLIE: All right... 'I am the ninth letter of
the alphabet.
_________________________________
TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his
father's cherry tree,
but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you know why his
father didn't punish him?
LOUIS: Because George still had the axe in his hand.
______________________________________
TEACHER: Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers
before eating?
SIMON: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.
TEACHER: Clyde , your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your
brother's. Did you copy his?
CLYDE : No, sir. It's the same dog.
___________________________________
TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people
are no longer interested?
HAROLD: A teacher.
Saturday, February 07, 2009
Burning an online video to DVD
Or burning any video to a video dvd.
A friend of a friend wants to know how to do this as part of a class project. Here you go...
Get any video file from the internet. The higher the resolution the better, because it will be scaled up to the size of a tv screen, where it might look very blocky if its a tiny (or even normal youtube video).
You can put a youtube link into this page (http://www.techcrunch.com/get-youtube-movie/) to download a youtube file. Add the extension .flv to the file before saving it. But if you forget it doesn't save the file with a file extension by default so sometimes its tricky to find in programs later, so make sure you always look for all files and not just specific file types in open dialogs.
My researched turned up the open source apps for this are DVD Flick for Windows, and DVD Styler for Linux and Windows. I tested with DVD Flick on windows.
List of features from the webpage.
http://www.dvdflick.net/download
Run the app, select Add Title in the upper right corner.
Select "All files" in the bottom of the file dialog, then find your video file you want to encode.
Click Ok.
Use a DVD-R if possible because its most universal for video, but a DVD+R will probably work on anything newer, and video CD may work as well.
Set up your DVD burning options by clicking on project settings dialog.
Under general chose the target size which fits the format you are using DVD-R/+R, video cd, etc.
Under the video tab choose the NTSC format for the US.
Under the burning choose your DVD Burner. (I had too choose create ISO because it Parallels doesn't support DVD burners on the Mac, then I copied the .iso file to the mac to burn. When you do this the iso file is under "My documents" \dvd\something.iso).
Click Accept.
Now click Create DVD at the top of the screen.
Click OK on the warning dialogs to re-encode.
Wait a long time.
Put your DVD in a DVD player and play.
A friend of a friend wants to know how to do this as part of a class project. Here you go...
Get any video file from the internet. The higher the resolution the better, because it will be scaled up to the size of a tv screen, where it might look very blocky if its a tiny (or even normal youtube video).
You can put a youtube link into this page (http://www.techcrunch.com/get-youtube-movie/) to download a youtube file. Add the extension .flv to the file before saving it. But if you forget it doesn't save the file with a file extension by default so sometimes its tricky to find in programs later, so make sure you always look for all files and not just specific file types in open dialogs.
My researched turned up the open source apps for this are DVD Flick for Windows, and DVD Styler for Linux and Windows. I tested with DVD Flick on windows.
List of features from the webpage.
- Burn near any video file to DVD
- Support for over 45 file formats
- Support for over 60 video codecs
- Support for over 40 audio codecs
- Easily add a menu
- Add your own subtitles
- Easy to use interface
- Burn your project to disc after encoding
- Completely free without any adware, spyware or limitations
http://www.dvdflick.net/download
Run the app, select Add Title in the upper right corner.
Select "All files" in the bottom of the file dialog, then find your video file you want to encode.
Click Ok.
Use a DVD-R if possible because its most universal for video, but a DVD+R will probably work on anything newer, and video CD may work as well.
Set up your DVD burning options by clicking on project settings dialog.
Under general chose the target size which fits the format you are using DVD-R/+R, video cd, etc.
Under the video tab choose the NTSC format for the US.
Under the burning choose your DVD Burner. (I had too choose create ISO because it Parallels doesn't support DVD burners on the Mac, then I copied the .iso file to the mac to burn. When you do this the iso file is under "My documents" \dvd\something.iso).
Click Accept.
Now click Create DVD at the top of the screen.
Click OK on the warning dialogs to re-encode.
Wait a long time.
Put your DVD in a DVD player and play.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)