Funny Kid Quotes

An email forward I received

JACK (age 3) was watching his Mom breast-feeding his new baby sister. After a while he asked: "Mom why have you got two? Is one for hot and one for cold milk?"

MELANIE (age 5) asked her Granny how old she was. Granny replied she was so old she didn't remember any more. Melanie said, "If you don't remember you must look in the back of your panties. Mine say five to six ."

STEVEN (age 3) hugged and kissed his Mom good night. "I love you so much that when you die I'm going to bury you outside my bedroom window."

BRITTANY (age 4) had an earache and wanted a pain killer. She tried in vain to take the lid off the bottle. Seeing her frustration, her Mom explained it was a child-proof cap and she'd have to open it for her. Eyes wide with wonder, the little girl asked: "How does it know it's me?"

SUSAN(age 4) was drinking juice when she got the hiccups. "Please don't give me this juice again," she said, "It makes my teeth cough."

DJ (age 4) stepped onto the bathroom scale and asked: "How much do I cost?"

MARC (age 4) was engrossed in a young couple that were hugging and kissing in a restaurant. Without taking his eyes off them, he asked his dad: "Why is he whispering in her mouth?"

CLINTON(age 5) was in his bedroom looking worried. When his Mom asked what was troubling him, he replied, "I don't know what'll happen with this bed when I get married. How will my wife fit in?"

JAMES(age 4) was listening to a Bible story. His dad read: "The man named Lot was warned to take his wife and flee out of the city but his wife looked back and was turned to salt." Concerned, James asked: What "What happened to the flea?"

TAMMY(age 4) was with her mother when they met an elderly, rather wrinkled woman her Mom knew. Tammy looked at her for a while and then asked, "Why doesn't your skin fit your face?"

The Sermon I think this Mom will never forget.... this particular Sunday sermon..."Dear Lord," the minister began, with arms extended toward heaven and a rapturous look on his upturned face. "Without you, we are but dust..." He would have continued but at that moment my very obedient daughter who was listening leaned over to me and asked quite audibly in her shrill little four year old girl voice, "Mom, what is butt dust?"

Audio Bible

I've run into a situation a couple of times now where I wanted to help someone find a audio bible but the person don't own a computer or portable MP3 player. MP3 Bibles are cheap or free and often contain extra resources such as sermons. I think they are a great resource, but in some cases the person can't use them because he or she doesn't have a player. Alternatively, you can find audio bibles on audio CD. They take up 64+ CD's and generally cost over $60. Isn't there something in between?

Options

1. Check to see if the person has a DVD player and if it plays MP3 CD's - maybe this would work in some situations
2. Determine if there is a cheap portable MP3 player <$35 Which can hold the MP3 Bible contents generally <>
3. Use a CD Duplicator to create the 64 + CD's from a burned copy of an the MP3 bible. 64 Audio CD's themselves will cost less than $10 the problem is how long it will take to make 1) the initial burned copy and 2) the additional copies + labels. A couple of audio bibles I've seen allow you to make unlimited copies for non-commercial use, for the others just purchase an additional copy and package it with each set of CD's.

Find someone who already sells a combo of any of the above options for a reasonable price.

Update. E-bay has some cheap used (eg here, here) CD/MP3 player combos which could be bought for $15-$25 including shipping.